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A SELF MADE WOMAN

In today’s day and age, women are on the same wavelength as men everywhere. Or at least somewhere. ‘A Self-Made Man’, is a much overused phrase, whereas its counterpart, ‘A Self-Made Woman’, is something the world rarely hears off. But if we look really close, our present and our past is filled with these women.
You catch them on boring pages of history and on closer inspection; they do much more than add a sense of liveliness to a rather boring lesson. They inspire, they motivate by defining themselves so poignantly that it is hard to ignore them. And the fantastic thing is they did it on their own.
Right from Razia Sultana, the courageous queen of the Delhi Sultanate to Rani Jhansi, who guarded her kingdom like a tigress guards her cubs, these women inspired. From Priety Zinta who was called, ‘The only hero in Bollywood’, to Oprah Winfrey who came from a small walk-in in New York to claim the crown for the most successful talk show host in the world, these women are as self made as any man who claimed to be self made.
A self-made woman, according to me, has to be someone who inspires and who grows up to be what she is through her experience. A woman of substance. A woman who has learnt from her past; A woman who is exemplary for her courage and determination, to do well for herself, no matter what obstacles she has to face.
The Forbes 2011 annual list of the wealthiest people included fourteen women, two of them billionaires. If you read up about them, you usually find that all of them hail from a poor or middle class background. They achieved success because of their determination and strength. They rose above petty issues like male chauvinism to break the glass ceiling of the corporate world.
Famous women such as Indra Nooyi, Diane Von Frustenberg, Condolezza Rice, Princess Diana, Queen Riana, Kiran Bedi, and Erin Brokovich are all self made women. And so are all those countless, faceless women we find in our day to day lives. We meet them in places we least expect but are still inspired by them.
Like Chinnammal.
A long time ago, I read about a sixty year old flower vendor in Chennai. She smiled a toothy smile, exposing her beetle stained teeth to the camera, happily. She seemed like a normal lady, but she had led a less than normal life. She had been the eldest daughter in her family, and was looked upon as filth by her father, who had always desired a son. Her parents, who were eager to be rid of her so that there would be one less mouth to feed, married her off to a drunkard, as soon as she had attained maturity. When she bore her husband a daughter, he abandoned her and their newborn.
Hardly sixteen, and homeless with a newborn child Chinnammal face a bleak future. Her parents refused to accept her back. Unperturbed, Chinnammal worked three jobs to raise her daughter single handedly. But then, her daughter met the same fate as her, in her, marital life and returned home with three children. Chinnammal, worked day and night to support her daughter and her grandchildren. She educated them and today, her oldest grandchild is studying to be an IAS officer.
This old woman, who deserves as much rest and retirement as any other sixty year old grand dame, is as ‘Self-Made’ a woman, as Kiran Mazumdar is.
My old school helper, Prema aunty, is also a self made woman. She never married but like other old maids, she was never bitter. She was the best helper in the world! She was perfection with a smile.
Even though my peers and I were in twelfth grade and far too embarrassed to be publically fed like nursery kids, we’d give in (albeit reluctantly and with a lot of ill grace) to her request of feeding us. Every lunch break, near the third floor stairs, Prema aunty held court. Surrounded by twelve lunch boxes and usually double the number of kids, she fed all of us.
She always preached, “God helps those who help themselves”. And she practiced what she preached! Anyone who wanted any help could always count on her. And last year, she adopted a four year old boy to support.
Women like her are as self made to me as the best of them are.
Shanaz Hussain, the grand dame of beauty in India, today runs a successful business empire comprising of beauty salons and spas and her famed herbal cosmetic line. She was, and is, in many ways an ideal example of what a self made woman should be. She had to battle with the demons of physical abuse and domestic violence from a failed marriage, before she turned out to be the woman she is today.
Elizabeth I, the fiery monarch, who ruled over England during her Golden Age, was called a ‘bastard child’, throughout her childhood. She suffered imprisonment and torture before she ascended the throne. Though she had advisors like Sir Walsingham, she didn’t entirely rely on male counsel and even spurned marriage to declare herself the ‘Virgin Queen’. She had courage as her armour and she used it to her full strength. She led her troops to battle against the Spanish Armada and her speech at Tilbury inspired her soldiers more than anything else. This woman, who witnessed the beheading of her own mother when she was three, stood out for her courage and is still regarded as the best English monarch. Queen Victoria comes a close second.
Amrita Patel, Anu Aga, Lila Poonawala, Mallika Srinivasan, Mallika Sarabhai, Kalpana Morporia, Meher Pudumjee, Priya Paul, Shaheen Mistri, Shuba Mudgal, Priya Paul, Shikha Sharma, Vinita Bali and Naina Lal Kidwai. These are examples of women who came from different social backgrounds but succeeded in their chosen professions. Today they are the leading lights in their field of choice, often illuminating the path for other women, just like the stars on a dark night.
Or, like Kalpana Chawla all those years ago. Kalpana Chawla was an Indian astronaut, who inspired kids and seniors alike. Though the world lost her somewhere above the ionosphere, her charm and vivacious smile still hover in the air. A young girl, who grew up in Haryana, went over to the States and after a lot of hard work, went up to Space. Coming from a rigid patriarchal society and a third world country, it was by no means an easy feat. She broke boundaries to achieve her dreams, and in doing so taught so many others that conviction and belief in yourself, is more than enough to conquer the world. What a woman, she was!
So, when asked to write about a particular woman, it’s quite difficult as there are so many women who influence you in different ways. Therefore, the woman I admire the most is feminine spirit. I admire that feminine spunk and brilliance that is common to every woman. That spirit, though it expresses itself in various ways, and at different stages, at the core its self made. That’s what a self made woman for me , essentially is.

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